Letting go feels like surgery with no anesthetic. It feels like separation from yourself. It feels wrong and like a panic attack.
When we are successfully letting go the moments in which we feel these painful sensations are of immense importance. These moments are the pangs of actually letting go. The birthing pangs of a new direction.
When we feel this going on inside of us we can tend to think that we made the wrong decision to let go of whatever it was and pick up the phone or drive to the liquor store or write ourselves off as lost causes.
We want the separation from the thing we need to let go of to feel just like the infatuation that led us to it in the beginning. This is why we misinterpret the genesis of our moving on.
I feel like Letting Go has become such a social and cultural cliche. I hear it in conversations going on next to me, I see people boiling it down into cute and digestible phrases to accompany photos proclaiming that we all just need to learn to LET GO.
I would agree but are any of us actually letting go of anything? Are we actually going under the shears of our own inner examination to learn where we are, where we want to be, and what has to change? Are we moving on?
Mitch Albom profoundly puts it like this, “In order to move on, you must understand why you felt what you did and why you no longer need to feel it.”
We can all fall into the deception of cradling the dysfunctional circumstances of relationships or habits to addict us to their distraction.
We know when something is not working. But we hang on to the warmth of a body or the comfort of another drink to convince us that we are being irrational.
We would rather be irrational than face the truth. Because when we face the truth about the circumstances we are choosing to stay stuck in it will require action.
Often we can wind up stuck in these dysfunctional places because we have smuggled the un-dealt with past into our present. We haven’t truly moved on from things that have happened to us before and it is spreading like a poison allowing the past to repeat itself in new relationships and opportunities.
A lack of letting go because of a gruesome fear of confronting what has become of us inside.
We must first let go of the circumstance most pressing upon and impeding our present health and growth to clear the way for the letting go of every past instance still locked away.
When we do what is necessary and begin to feel the surgical procedure of separation within us proceed we must stand by our “No’s” and not retreat so that time can give us it’s wisdom of retrospect.
It can feel like the flames of hell itself when we are realizing that we have begun to let go but the moment will always pass. If we can have the strength to make it through these moments without reverting or running back (to a relationship, substance, or situation holding us back) we will have made our first stand to move on. Giant steps are made by decided minds.
Recognizing our strongholds of dysfunction and distraction takes a lot of honesty.
Having the strength to separate ourselves from them by saying No takes guts.
Staying free of them through the pain of separation is the doorway to freedom and health.
All of this is truly letting go. It is so much more possible and attainable than we may want to admit.
We may all need to let go of different things but we may be warring the same fight. When we successfully let go it can empower those around us to know it is possible to be free.
Letting go of what we think we want may make us precisely who we are supposed to be.